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Last post 07-16-2012, 11:24 AM by J McMillin. 120 replies.
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  •  06-13-2012, 10:21 PM 959046
    J McMillin J McMillin is not online. Last active: 03-11-2014, 1:01 AM
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    Subject: a few things aoe3 taught us about life

    pay someone 50 food and 100 wood, and he will blow himself up

    have two cannons stand two feet from each other, shoot at each other, and everyone will survive

    if there are 50 german or japanese swordsmen running up a hill, it is possible for a volley of musketfire and cannon to kill NONE of them.  

    it takes 100+ stabs with a pike for an aztec warchief to die. tough little suckers

    you can fit about 5 multi-ton cannons on a canoe.

     the iroqouis make shields that can withstand cannonfire!

    when a mortar blows up a building. it is impossible for anyone nearby to be harmed in the least.

    some people have the ability to hit a button and become invisible :D

    everyone in wars somehow has an unlimited supply of arrows/bullets/cannon balls

    somehow people on horses can whip out a torch and it lights instantly

     shogun tokoguwa was an amazing man. he was able to create 10 mortars with his bare hands in under a minute with no materials. BEAST

    1 russian villager and 1 russian musketeer can create an astounding fortress in a matter of mintutes 

    indian people eat wood, and i guess dutch colonies just used hookers to reproduce

    theres tons more :D feel free to add just picked out the ones i could think of


    kittychix:

    If you know your behaviour or language is going to result in a ban, and continue with the actions anyway...you are heading in a direction of less then temporary action.

  •  06-13-2012, 10:48 PM 959047 in reply to 959046
    TacticalWillie TacticalWillie is not online. Last active: 12-26-2013, 9:58 AM
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    Subject: Re: a few things aoe3 taught us about life
    A dude with a bow and arrow can shoot farther then a cannon and break the cannon with a couple of arrows

    RainbowZ:
    TacticalWillie should stop noobbashing colonels.
  •  06-13-2012, 10:52 PM 959048 in reply to 959046
    HunterCallahan HunterCallahan is not online. Last active: 09-13-2013, 10:24 AM
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    Subject: Re: a few things aoe3 taught us about life

    Native Americans will send their warriors to die for whoever is the first to build something on their land.

     

    Russian settlers can only be triplets

     

    Cannons don't hurt people hardly at all if you stand really, really close to them


    cam44:

    wut inn thee fawk r u tokking abowt?
  •  06-13-2012, 10:58 PM 959049 in reply to 959048
    J McMillin J McMillin is not online. Last active: 03-11-2014, 1:01 AM
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    Subject: Re: a few things aoe3 taught us about life
    whenever a colonly revolted, all the women turned into men

    kittychix:

    If you know your behaviour or language is going to result in a ban, and continue with the actions anyway...you are heading in a direction of less then temporary action.

  •  06-14-2012, 12:00 AM 959050 in reply to 959049
    LordStefanIII LordStefanIII is not online. Last active: 11/12/2013, 7:05 PM
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    Subject: Re: a few things aoe3 taught us about life

    You can survive, and receive no injury from getting run over by a Stage Coach or Train.

     

  •  06-14-2012, 2:25 AM 959060 in reply to 959050
    Grandevous Grandevous is not online. Last active: 08-31-2013, 7:56 AM
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    Subject: Re: a few things aoe3 taught us about life

    Queen Isabella quotes:

    I see you like it rough

    Why is it I who always seems to get double teamed

    I see you r fast, but it will take u more that speed to best me

    You play to rough. I would like to stop now

    And taunt 18 where she says: I believe that makes me ur daddy 


    Death will take you without a care for circumstance or timing; live life to the fullest without fear of death, or need to know why it chooses who it does - otherwise you are already dead.
  •  06-14-2012, 4:08 AM 959062 in reply to 959046
    TruePwnage TruePwnage is not online. Last active: 11-22-2012, 4:12 PM
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    Subject: Re: a few things aoe3 taught us about life

    Soldiers magically gain more armor and a bigger weapon with bronze, silver, and gold buttons

    A guy on a horse with a sword can destroy a cannon shooting 5 cannonballs at him

    A villager using a blunderbuss could take 100 shots to defeat a dog

    Mortars can't shoot at soldiers for some unknown reason

    Japanese soldiers wear tons of lipstick

    80% of people that come from a town center are men 


    "How many fools can I kill today, too many to count don't get in my way. I shoot a mofo in the throat with my bow, tomahawk chop is my death blow."
  •  06-14-2012, 4:58 AM 959063 in reply to 959062
    Metis Metis is not online. Last active: Thu, Dec 26 2013, 1:38 AM
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    Subject: Re: a few things aoe3 taught us about life

    French settlers in the New World were all men; however, they sometimes could capture or be given native women, who immediately learned to speak French.

    British settlers in the New World forgot how to speak English.

    Indian scouts got run up trees by alligators and coyotes a lot, those that didn't were usually captured by cowboys and tied to posts.

    The Japanese, Indians and Chinese had a strong New World presence.

    For some reason Sioux warriors were massively stronger when fighting in their camps.

    Threaten someone with the Spanish Inquisition and they gain the ability to see much farther.

    For some reason trees are scarce in the middle of the Orinoco rain forest but common on the windswept high plateaus of the Andes.

    Speaking of the Orinoco, this mighty river contains not a single fish.

    You can sail several ocean-going warships on a tiny pond on the Great Plains.

    You can look at the ducks but you can't eat them.

    You can flense as much blubber from a whale as you want and it will never die.

    Maps to forests were never updated and new settlers were often amazed to find that the wood they had been sent out to chop was no longer there.

    Mighty stone walls could be build without gathering a single stone.

    People in modern times forgot how to fish from banks and could only fish from boats.

  •  06-14-2012, 7:38 AM 959080 in reply to 959063
    Jerom Jerom is not online. Last active: 28 Dec 2013, 7:18 PM
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    Subject: Re: a few things aoe3 taught us about life

    If your army was too big time would stop every 3-4 seconds for a couple of seconds.

    Canoes are much stronger than big warships that had the ability to cross huge seas.

    Countries were not allowed to fight in Europe

    The zen diet involved eating wood instead of food

    it took the japanese longer to develop people with swords and people with bows on horses than it took them to develop people with guns.

    People in the new world could only have one church

    Outlaws required many people to function properly 


    [N3O] Jerom_the_brave
    http://www.youtube.com/user/N3OJerom?feature=mhee

  •  06-14-2012, 8:08 AM 959083 in reply to 959080
    musketeer925 musketeer925 is not online. Last active: 03-13-2014, 9:15 PM
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    Subject: Re: a few things aoe3 taught us about life
    The great lakes freeze almost completely over during the winter.

    Wearing a Greatcoat will allow you to take several more bullets to the chest.

    You can only shoot deer with a blunderbuss.

    Livestock cannot be shot; you must hit them to death.

    You can send a sheep across unknown territory and back and it will inform you as to what is there.

    The local natives won't attack you unless they've allied themselves with another nation.

    You might encounter a Polar Bear on Borneo.

    If you ride the horse that pulls your cannon, the cannon will move much faster.

    You can grow plenty of food with a mill on any terrain.

    If a building is razed, none of the people inside will be killed.

    Deer won't run away from gunfire as long as it doesn't hit them.

    You can send crates of food from the Old World and it won't spoil before it gets across the Atlantic.

  •  06-14-2012, 10:11 AM 959087 in reply to 959083
    J McMillin J McMillin is not online. Last active: 03-11-2014, 1:01 AM
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    Subject: Re: a few things aoe3 taught us about life

    people in india were very proficient at producing cannon. only problem is they no idea how to get them off the top of elephants or off of boats

    french colonies comprised entirely of men were able to reproduce

    bands of outlaws will peacefully watch a battle, that is until one of them is injured in the least. then all of them go for whatever army did this, thinking they might be after their jackalope 


    kittychix:

    If you know your behaviour or language is going to result in a ban, and continue with the actions anyway...you are heading in a direction of less then temporary action.

  •  06-14-2012, 10:37 AM 959088 in reply to 959087
    0xyM0r0n 0xyM0r0n is not online. Last active: 09-25-2013, 10:39 PM
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    Subject: Re: a few things aoe3 taught us about life

    The Iroquois and Aztec empires had very good camouflage clothing, enabling the jaguar warrior and forest prowlers to move unseen, except through an explorer's telescope.

    Spy's were weak and only carried knives, no guns.

    French cavalry somehow counters almost every unit.

    Pay a Chinese ship and its crew some wood and some coin and it will blow itself up(after ramming something, and the crew jumps off)

    There are giant squid that you can see near Honshu breaking the surface.

    Whale oil is a faster source of coin than plantations.


    Tech Enthusiast.
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    I don't play on eso anymore. Gameranger and Hamachi.
  •  06-14-2012, 10:40 AM 959089 in reply to 959088
    Jerom Jerom is not online. Last active: 28 Dec 2013, 7:18 PM
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    Subject: Re: a few things aoe3 taught us about life
    if french people on horses attack with a knife they do not only do damage to the person they are stabbing, all the other people close to its swing are so impressed by it that they hit themselves. Only way to explain the area damage :P

    [N3O] Jerom_the_brave
    http://www.youtube.com/user/N3OJerom?feature=mhee

  •  06-14-2012, 12:46 PM 959120 in reply to 959089
    J McMillin J McMillin is not online. Last active: 03-11-2014, 1:01 AM
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    Subject: Re: a few things aoe3 taught us about life
    cows in england get fully matured and fattened in a matter of seconds, and british civilians can process this cow into meat in a matter of seconds as well

    kittychix:

    If you know your behaviour or language is going to result in a ban, and continue with the actions anyway...you are heading in a direction of less then temporary action.

  •  06-14-2012, 1:31 PM 959126 in reply to 959120
    HunterCallahan HunterCallahan is not online. Last active: 09-13-2013, 10:24 AM
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    Subject: Re: a few things aoe3 taught us about life

    It takes a man only a matter of minutes to cross then entire great plains.

    If you make soilders from your TC, they will constantly stab them selves until they are barely clinging to life, at which point they will stop hurting them selves.

    Throwing torches at a building can cause parts of the roof to go flying off

    It only takes about three seconds to fully reload and fire a musket.

    You must muzzle load revolvers

    Spanish explorers often give birth to litters of fully grown dogs

    You may only extract wood from standing trees. Once they are felled, the wood is no longer useable. 

    Horses that are towing cannon are put in the pocket of the man operating the cannon when the cannon is ready to fire. They are then taken out of the operators pocket and attached to the cannon by their tail when the cannon needs to move.

    A blunderbuss hurts more when the butt is used to beat some one then when the weapon is fired.

    Inventing circular saws only makes your axes work better.

    If you settler has a cart and a donkey, he is 3 times more effective. 

    forts do almost no damage if you stand directly under them

    You can burn down steel gates in stone walls.

    When building a british manor, the constructor is always pregnant. Once the building is completed, a fully grown adult is born.

    People only need to be fed once, at birth, and then never again for their rest of their life.

    You can sleep 10 people, or 5 horses and five people, in a 10ft x 10 ft house

    Halberds were invented after muskets

    Ten people can effectively farm an area that is about 20 ft x 20 ft.

    Resources collected by villagers are immediately added to your invisible stockpile.

    You only need to load cannon balls into a cannon. The gunpowder will just appear in the bottom of the cannon

    You can fit four cannons in a single tower. Only one can be used at a time.

    The opposing team will give up if you have lots of trading posts.


    cam44:

    wut inn thee fawk r u tokking abowt?
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